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Dave (Denzil) Washington's latest offering titled 'Lobden Weather'

Lobden Weather

I arrived for my Saturday comp
The sky it was cloudless and blue
Not a breath of a breeze
As we set off in threes
What the hell am I going to do?

I’m not used to a Lobden like this
The waterproofs locked in the car
With no wind in my face
I feel so out of place
Oh I wish I was back in the bar

We all know that we’re being conned
Fine days are few and far between
Forget your amber solaire
Think what lifeboat men wear
It’s survival if you know what I mean

Cold, wet winter days on the first tee
It’s a scene, which needs positive thinking
More puddles and pools
Than R and A rules
No wonder we’ve been driven to drinking

There are days in the records of Lobden
When there’s not a drop of rain in the air
But the wind is a beast
Especially out of the east
And your drive on the sixth goes nowhere

The eighth, gale force winds from the west
Your second shot is aimed at the gate
But it’s golf ball defiance
Breaking all rules of science
As the bloody thing sails off dead straight

Now the weather gives Gordon his nightmares
Because grass doesn’t grow on its own
Flash wants hours and hours
Of sunshine and showers
Shame on those who do nothing but moan

The weather at Lobden is famous
Some say it’s like SAS training
We can all tell our tales
About monsoons and gales
And of hours playing golf when it’s raining

When the mist’s down it’s like life in a cloud
And you don’t have a clue where you’re going
So you hit and you pray
Where there’s a will there’s a way
Cheer up lads it’s just started snowing

We can all think of days we’ve asked ‘Why?’
And our wives say we’re stark, staring mad
We all hope ‘global warming’
Will reach Saturday morning
Say ‘goodbye’ to the soakings we’ve had

So with Lobden comes a marriage to weather
And for us it’s till death us do part
So come rain, wind or shine
We all think it’s divine
Lobden weather… words close to our heart